Since I'm not working out......I am not happy. Vertigo and the kettlebell do not go well together. The biggest fear I have now is NOT knowing if and/or when I will have another attack. I can only now get a slight sense of what someone who lives with seizures must feel like. The fear of the unknown is incredible. I actually feel the worst when I am still, like sitting and watching TV. I went to my primary care doctor yesterday and after all the neuro exams, I was cleared from the diagnosis of stroke-yay! Told to take it easy and keep hydrated. I wonder how much money he made to tell me that! Either way, I came home, fired up the snowblower and cleaned out the 4 inches of snow we had gotten the night before. I feel better when I'm moving.
I can't and won't let this fear dig deep into my soul and ruin my life. I will deal with this as it goes, so for now, I'm going to just bore you with my "deep thoughts" on pride.....
For awhile now I've been wondering about Facebook. I know, I wonder way too much about silly stuff. But, it's all part of growing-spiritually. Pride is something that God does not care for. There are numerous Bible versuses that speak of pride. I don't know every verse in the Bible, but here are a few good ones....
Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
1 Samuel 2:3
Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the LORD is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed.
I love the second one. I think, and these are all my own thoughts, no one has to ever agree with any of them....I won't be hurt. All the posts put on FB are always something to do with pride or success. I am just as guilty as the next by putting on there some of my workouts or my accomplishments. Who's to impress? Does that make us feel successful when we get a bunch of "likes" or "comments"? Maybe so. Sure, it does feel good to be liked. As soon as we post about one of our "great" accomplishments, someone else comes along and posts that they did it better, faster, cheaper, or whatever and then we feel like nothing again. Let me just say that we all have what we need for happiness, right now. We don't have to change anything about ourselves or our lives. We just need to see what's already there. Someone will always be better than, faster than, skinnier than, have more money than, have a bigger house or a faster car than, etc.....the list goes on and on. Whatever the definition of success is, it's something we're looking for....something that exists in the future. It's based on our desire to achieve something, our feelings that we're not where we want to be. The trap of striving for this future "success".....it's never-ending. We strive for more, and then when we get it, we strive for more again. We're never satisfied. People who have a billion dollars, for example...they're successful, right? Why don't they stop trying to make more money, then? Why would you possibly need more than a billion dollars? How can you possibly spend that much? They strive to make more because there will never be enough. They'll never be successful enough.
Success isn't about achieving something in the future, but about doing something right now that you love. If that sounds like I do care about success, well sure, you're right-if you define success as whatever it is you care about, then of course you're going to care about success. But then "success" really doesn't have a meaning, does it? If it can mean anything, then it means nothing.
I am glad to have given my life to God. We cannot control our lives to any degree, no matter how we try. Things will always come up to spoil the best-laid plans, and the more detailed our plans the more of a guarantee that something will go wrong. And what happens when the plans go wrong? We are stressed out, because things get out of our control and don't live up to our expectations. This is one of the biggest sources of stress for most people. Just how often do your days go as planned? Pretty rare. No matter how hard we try. There will always be an email or text that will disrupt things, a last minute meeting, postponements, emergencies and fires to put out. I'm trying to train for my 1/2 marathon in April........and BAM, vertigo! Just can't plan on anything. The only thing that I can plan and rely on is that God will be there with me through this.
So, for now, I will keep the Facebook. I may not be on it as much, but it's just in limbo for now until I get a message from God. It is a great place to spread the Word....but I'm not one of those "holy rollers", I would rather have my actions of how I live my life speak more than my "typed" words.
Until next time...........Blessings!
I'm going to dare to disagree with you on this.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you being on FB has inspired and motivated others. Your typed words DO impact others. When someone reads how you've dropped 5 or 10 lbs. through KB's, maybe (just maybe) it makes someone out in the wide web universe pick up a KB and do for themselves. This is how the typed word CAN make a difference. I don't think it's bragging or prideful to be putting your positive thoughts and accountability into writing. You're not giving yourself credit for the power of the written word. (I think you know a specific written word that is the most powerful in history that people rely on frequently...right?) (rhymes with the Mible) ;)
It does make me sad you don't realize how powerful and strong your own message is. :(
And the idea that "We cannot control our lives to any degree, no matter how we try.". Sorry, but this too I disagree, but just a bit...God may be all-knowing and our lives may be on a set path, BUT He also gave each person the power of self-choice. He allows us to make choices that do affect our daily lives. We can control things, and God watches as we do. If we had no choice then we'd just sit back and let life happen to us. It's a defeatist attitude and therefore we do have the choice to get out of bed or not, to workout or not, to go to work, or walk the dog, or whatever. It keeps us thinking and being an active participant in our own lives.
You're stronger than you think, you will endure, friend :)