Stonger than Me....

Here it is.............2013.  I hope everyone made it through okay!

I find it amazing how we can fight with ourselves.  I won't lie.  My 2012 ended up being not quite the best year I've ever had, then again, it wasn't the worst either.  As anybody else' year, it was a mix of good and bad.  When we learn from the bad, that makes more room for the good!

There seems to be something stronger than me at this time in my life.  I invest my heart then I break it.  I can't seem to set things free and get that peace.  I want release.  I have a side that "knows" what is right and wrong. Then there's the side that seems to have moved into my soul full time not letting me release.  This side is Stronger than Me.  

As I close my eyes at night, I know that both those sides are still "me" and I'm the one who runs the show.  It's a little like this.........

I feel like my "life" map has been burned and I've taken a wrong turn, finding myself alone.  I'm tired of fighting this war-I don't want to fight any more.  I must be stronger than Me.  There is no magic.  There are no secrets.  We all begin this race at the start.  I've come this far-with the truth of my heart.

2012 brought back the issue of being overweight.  I had a substantial amount of my previous 120lb loss come back onto my frame.  At first, it just kind of made "little" signs.  Easily, I came up with all the excuses we make.  I then had quite a breakdown during the summer of 2012.  A dark breakdown.  One that almost led to my dismissal from this world.  It's come down to the fact that it is now the midnight hour and this Cinderella MUST go home!  Fear MUST never rule the heart!

I have a goal.....but it's not until 2014.  July 2014 to be more specific.  What is that goal?   Here it is:

 

The first thing I ever trained for was a triathlon and I fell in love with them right away.  I know that I can do this.  I can do each of these events.  Now to train to them one right after another!  I've done 4 "official" sprint triathlons and a handful of ones that I just did on my own.  I consider my homemade ones to be just another brick workout, but with extra credit, that being the 3rd item of the tri.

Yesterday at work, I had a great talk with a fellow coworker who is leaving us.  I hate when coworkers quit.  We get so close because we spend so much time together and we go through the same "work" crap.  She's exactly where I was in a slightly different aspect.  As words came out of my mouth, I could feel a opening in my soul.  I could feel a sense of good. I felt that God spoke to me through my very own words. This talk actually was one of those that helped me have a revelation as I tried to help her have hers!  I am hopeful this will help me see the way to the place I want to be.  I know that feeling of crossing a finish line.  I know how "special" it is.  I don't only want the feeling of crossing that finish line, but I want that feeling to be special through out the entire process of training for it!  In fact, I want to enjoy that even more.  The finish line will be the icing!

I definitely have a battle in front of me.  However, I'm thinking that if I continue to call it a "battle" I will fail for sure.  After all, war is hell and who wants to be at war?  The story of David and Goliath comes to my mind these days.  I need to put on my shield of faith and press on!
   

 I am registered for the Green Bay 1/2 marathon this May.  I have run once since the marathon back in October.  Mostly because for the month of November I was sick and didn't do anything.  Then with the holidays, it just never happened......blah, blah, blah-what a bunch of excuses.  Pneumonia is one thing, but now it's just excuses.  Time to start training for my next finisher medal......

Besides my love of my beloved kettlebells, this is my passion...........

 

(Not to mention how nice 70.3 would look as a tattoo!)

   

How will this all happen?  Well, for starters it will be Me making a pact to myself.  It will be "Me" becoming stronger than "Me"!

I leave with this video of a great tune.  I grew up both watching and loving the Jackson 5.  I so wanted to married Michael when I was a kid!  The words are great and they may mean one thing in the song itself, but to me, they mean that I must never say goodbye-to myself!  

 

Until next time............Blessings!