I would bet a million bucks that you've probably never seen a cake decorated quite like the one I made for my last day of work tomorrow! Working in a hospital....our sense of humor is somewhat "jaded"! LOL....then again, my personal sense of humor is pretty far out there to begin with! If this cake offends you....tough.
Looking over the past 9 months, or so, of posts, man, how depressing. I'm hoping this menopause crap gets its self under control. I've gained back way, way, way too much of the weight I lost. I'm tired of "thoughts" I would normally NEVER have had, seek their way into my mind, into my heart and into my soul. I never really came out and said/typed the "s" word, I always just danced around it by calling it the "s" word! Well, yup, here it is.....suicide. It was thought of. Quite often as a matter of fact. I knew that no one knew of these thoughts.....at least I thought that, but there was always Him.....Him, keeping His eyes on me. Letting me get to just that exact moment when I thought this is the end of everything, but actually it was a great beginning! I was so wrapped up with crap in my mind at that time. I'm so glad that things are on the up and up. I still have thoughts from time to time. In fact, just the other day while performing CPR on a patient, I caught myself saying to him; "lucky bastard-your worries are over". Just signs from God telling me what areas I have to work on yet! I have yet to figure out just what brought the thoughts on. I have a pretty normal life. I had 2 great parents that brought me up in a normal way. They taught me some great values. I'm blessed in so many ways with great family and friends. But, we all know that one can be in a room full of loved ones and still be lonely. We know that it's always the one who's so busy making sure everyone else is happy that turns out to be the loneliest.
Yesterday while catching up on my DVR'd Joyce Meyer episodes, one story she told during one of the episodes really spoke to me.....
A donkey had fallen into a pit and began to cry for help. All the farmers in the area had heard it's cries. They all went to get shovels to help. They began to throw dirt onto the donkey's back in the pit. One bystander wondered why would these farmers not help this poor donkey, instead they were trying to cover it up. Then the bystander watched as the donkey, with each shovel full being thrown on it, would shake the dirt off it's back and step on it. With each shovel full of dirt, the donkey kept shaking it off it's back, stepping on and therefore getting higher and higher. Eventually, there was enough dirt thrown on this donkey's back that he shook off and then was able to just walk out of the pit.
I have decided to take this analogy to heart! I've always, as I'm sure, most of us do...tried to help fix EVERYTHING we possibly can in this world. NO MORE. Anything that comes my way to "disrupt" my life, I'm gonna treat it like a shovel full of dirt being thrown on my back. I'm gonna just shake it off and then rise higher and higher becoming the peaceful person I long for. Right now-I am my own worst enemy. I spent way too much time studying my failures until I lost sight of my successes. The most common and destructive addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. I'm thrilled that I'm done with comfort! This is where I put my verse in here......
Looking forward to healing both mind and body and spirit and then it's Ironman training!!! 1/2 Ironman that is......that's enough for me! I have the tattoo already designed! I've always gone about my training for anything I've done with the end in mind and my wonderful friend, Lisa, awhile ago had sent me this photo. LOVE IT.........truth!!!
I know exactly what the cut-off's are for each event. I know exactly what I need to do to get myself to this event. I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
I'll be out for awhile from blog land..........see you soon!